Reality At It's Peak
by CupsOfKlaine
Summary: Au: Every single letter Kurt writes to Blaine hasn't been answered in a long time. He knows exactly why but he refuses to give up writing his daily messages; determined not to let a 'Missing In Action' post deter him from telling his lover what he means to him, even if that means losing himself along the way.
1. Letter 1

**A/N: Hello! I'm aware that I haven't wrote in a while but I'm on it, I promise. And that's for both BYSAM (Because you smiled at me) and TNTF (The night to forget). But this is hopefully going to fill in the waiting time, and hopefully you'll enjoy it.**

**Yes this is rated T because it's not as heavy as my other fan fictions, but it will still be well plotted and have some upsetting themes including: possible Character death, mild language and maybe a few mild adult themes slipped in there.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from Glee as all! :( **

**Happy reading! :D**

* * *

Reality At It's Peak~By CupsOfKlaine

_Thursday 1st November 2012_

_My dearest Blaine,_

_ I can't believe it. It's been six months since you were sent away. And yet, this is still as painful as the first time I wrote you. No. It's much, much harder. I miss you so much. I miss the way you look at me with your big doe eyes. I miss the times you wiped my tears away. I miss your smell and your touch and just you. I miss you Blaine. And I don't know how much longer I can last._

_Do you remember when you showed up on that stairwell at Dalton? I know I certainly do. God, you took my breathe away. You still do. You always will. I remember that life changing speech you made, I can still quote it word for word as if it was yesterday. I wish is _was _yesterday. Then I would be oblivious to where we are now. Or maybe I would be aware of it and convince you not to go.I just wish you would of told me sooner, but it's too late now._

_ I look at our photo album every night and I know it sounds horrible, but I smile. Not because you're gone, far from that! Just. It's what you do to me. Your beautiful smile in every photo is enough to make me forget. I'm ashamed to say it, but I love to forget. It takes me away from this damned reality. I wish i could call you and hear your voice but I realise...after I found out I stopped calling. You know that. The Army knows that. But I still find the temptation even though I know there's no point. Sometimes I wonder why I still write these letters. My dad and Carole keep trying to convince me to stop. But I can't. I can't stop writing to you. Even if you don't reply. I feel that if I stop writing that I'm just giving up like everyone else, and I'm not ready to do that yet. I don't think I'll ever be ready. I can't handle the thought of finally accepting..well. _

_ Life in New York is course, Rachel is doing amazingly in NYADA and I'm doing quite well at Vogue (even if I'm not a fabulous designer yet). You'll never guess what I did. I went to my first New York party! I know, I know. It's a little risque for me but I remember when you told me to 'live a little'. So I did. I went to a huge party in New York and it was so beautiful! It was set under the stars and there were fireworks. Just wow. I know you'd be proud of me for being able to cross that off my bucket list. What can I say? You inspire me. You'll always inspire me. _

_Blaine. I know that you're out there. Somewhere. You have to be. And hopefully you'll be reading this one day, hopefully that day will be soon. And hopefully you'll be in my arms soon. Gosh, I sound so lonely. Who am I kidding. Of course I'm lonely. Ever since our last embrace I've been lonely. Darling, you complete me. And I promise you, I will never stop writing you and I will never give up hope for you. I know in every bone in my body that we'll be together again, I don't know when or how, but we will. _

_Please Blaine, reply soon. Anything. A phonecall, a letter, a messanger pigeon. Please just tell me you're alright and that you're...just tell me you're alright. Please._

_ I love you. So, so much. _

_Love always and forever, _

_ Kurt. xxx_

* * *

**okay hi. As you can see, the entire story is going to be set out as these letter formats just so you don't get confused. I'm open to any suggestions, just message me and/or review ;) You can add me on tumblr .com.**

**Finally! You'll be happy to know that this fic is actually going to be updated every single day. So hopefully that will make you happy! Woo! See you tomorrow! 3  
**


	2. Letter 2

**A/N: I'm glad for the quick response from this story! Thank you! **_  
_

** Just a side note: the timings for all of this is a little off. So everything that has already happened on the tv show (including season 4 for you people who are watching it) has already happened years ago. If that makes sense. So 2012 is actually about 1 or 2 years in the future for these characters. Hopefully you know what I mean. I'll try to explain it more in the future.**

**There will be spoilers for season 4 episodes so if you haven't watched it then pm me and I'll send you a link where you can. **

**Happy Reading! :D**

* * *

_Friday 2nd November 2012_

_My Dearest Blaine,_

_ hey sweetie! I'm sorry for being dramatic yesterday, it's just, six months is a long time. And photos only keep you company for so long. I just miss you, as you would probably gather from all of the letters where I drone on and on about that. Again, sorry! _

_I seem to be having a better day today, thank goodness. I had an assignment set today to come up with a new design for a broach. Don't get too excited, it's just for practice. Of course I can't expect to get a serious task so early in the game, but I'm sure I will soon! Rachel and Brody seem to be hitting it off great, and he's cute (nothing compared to you though Blainers). It's a shame that Finn and Rachel didn't work out though, they really were the power couple of McKinley. Wow. That felt weird to write. Last time I wrote McKinley was on my application forms. Doesn't time fly? Well...in some cases it does. _

_ It seems so long ago that I was being thrown into dumpsters and getting slushie facials. Haha! I'm laughing now but I remember all of the thorough face routines I had to go through, many of those not being pleasant! That reminds me! Guess who I saw this morning. Dave Karofsky. Well. I didn't technically see him, but I saw an article in the local Lima newspaper that my dad sent me. Apparently he's become a business man with his fiance and has given a large sum of money to charity. Isn't that amazing? I knew there was good in him! Oh! And the charity? To help stop Homophobia and bullying in schools. He really has changed. Then again, haven't we all? I mean, we used to awkwardly hold hands sprinting down corridors together. I have to say, that has to be the gayest thing we've ever done, aside from..._

_God, you make me blush even when you're not here._

_The truth is Blaine. No matter how many times people tell me to stop with these letters, I never will. I can't quite figure out why yet. I mean, yes, I never want to forget what this feels like. But I feel like there's something more. I don't know anymore. I thought that once I could figure it out that I would finally snap to my senses and begin my life without thinking of you twenty-four hours a day. But that will never happen, will it? I can see it now. I'm sitting in the office of my dior grey apartment (the rent is a fortune), obviously working on some new designs. And then I'll realise that it's that time again. And I can see it. I can see it so clearly. The image of me purposely pushing all of my work to one side for what seems like hours to write to you, once again. And that's what it will be like for the rest of my life. I will purposely push things out of the way so that I can write to you, knowing all too well that you won't reply. _

_ I don't know how it got to this stage. But I refuse to backtrack._

_I refuse._

_You know I'm always, always thinking of you. I love you so much. _

_Your's forever and always,_

_ Kurt xxx_

* * *

**So yes, as you can see this is a daily thing for you! I'm not sure how many letters I'm doing but I have a plot to weave in as well. I understand that this is quite dramatic etc but I do want to make a few letters light-hearted. I don't want to make you too upset reading these.**

**I hope you enjoy this! And I always appreciate reviews and new ideas! **

**CupsOfKlaine~xx**


	3. Letter 3

**A/N: Hello! Thank you to people who have reviewed and followed etc so far! I promise that the plot will develop (especially in the next letter) and hopefully things will start to make sense. But! Before all of the heavy stuff, I give you this (one of my favourite letters so far)**

__**Side note: I've just realised that the abbreviated version of this story is 'RAIP'...so I don't think I'll be shortening it as much as my other stories. **

**Happy Reading! :D**

* * *

_Saturday 3rd November 2012_

_Dearest Blaine,_

_ Finally a day off from my long week! It's currently Lunch in the land of HummelBerry (or New York to you people outside the loop). And yes, I am in fact back on my diet. Seems I may have been eating cheesecake, no thanks to Rachel, a little too often. So I'm tucking into a 'delicious and extremely filling' chicken salad as I write. You're practically taking me out for dinner right now. You do spoil me. _

_Wow. When did I get so light-hearted? I don't remember having in my step. I don't know why I'm cheery. It must be something new, I've had seven, SEVEN, people asking if I'm okay this morning. Even whilst I was on the phone to my dad. Why is that? Why is he suddenly more worried about me when I'm cheery? Still. I'm not going to ask stupid questions. _

_ So! Since it's Saturday, Rachel invited me to that NYADA club. Do you know what that means? That means I can finally get up on that stage after so long! I'm already thinking what to sing. I'm seriously stuck for choice whether to do some Lady Gaga (never go wrong with Gaga) or maybe something a little classical. As long as it's not Journey! _

_I realise that this is the bar that you sung to me in the night we broke up. But that's in the past now. I'm going to walk into that building with my head held high with a smile on my face _knowing _that my beautiful Blaine loves me. All I can be thankful for is that we got back together (obviously), so now I can look back on your singing and feel good about it. Besides all of the crying, of course, it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. And I love you all the more for it; If that's even possible._

_ I know these letters are starting to make less and less sense, aren't they? I just have this feeling that if I write about these things that maybe you will feel a little closer to home. A little closer to me. I hope that it's doing that for you, because it's doing the complete opposite for me. But as you know, I would do anything for you. No matter how painful. Like that time you took a slushie in the eye for me. I suppose that everything you've ever said to me has just...stuck. Especially one of the first pieces of advice you gave me, even before we were close. _

_'Courage' _

_You said that to me. Do you remember? I want you to remember that now, Blaine. I want you to keep pushing and pushing until you reach the very end. I know you can do it and I know, no matter what anyone says, that you're going to prove them all wrong. You are going to rise above them all and come home to me. I know you will. _

_I love you._

_ Forever and always,_

_ Kurt xxx_

* * *

**So I realise that this is quite a shore letter (sorry) but hopefully the next one will make up for it. See you tomorrow!**

**And as always, I'm happy to take suggestions and reviews (gotta love those reviews)!**

**CupsOfKlaine~xx**


	4. Letter 4

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and followed! And as some of you hae predicted, the plot is going to move forward now, so, I hope you enjoy and I'll see you tomorrow!**_  
_

**Happy Reading! :D**

* * *

_Sunday 4th November 2012_

_Dearest Blaine,_

_ I couldn't do it._

_I tried. I tried so hard to do this and be strong for you but I just couldn't! As soon as I stepped through those doors I could already feel the tears. I felt that if I were to just ignore it then I could stumble my way through this darkness. But I was wrong. I was so wrong! I can't! The person before me on stage was a young girl, and do you know what she sung? _

_Teenage Dream._

_ To her it was just a song but of course, it's so much more than that! That was the song that I fell in love with you to! How am I supposed to forget that?! How am I supposed to just push that aside and smile through it?! Please Blaine, tell me! Because I'm running out of answers. Who am I kidding? I was never going to remotely move on. I don't want to. But the moment the introduction of that god-damned song played I fell apart. I sobbed in front of a room of people. I couldn't breath or think or anything! Rachel had tried to get me outside for some air but I felt like my feet were glued to the ground. And then they called my name up next. I just stood there! I went out last night to show you how brave I've become and how much I would do for you and I failed. I failed you and I'm so sorry. What the hell is wrong with me? _

_I feel like I'm losing myself. No. I feel like I'm losing the _last _of myself. After you was sent away, you took a huge part of me with you. I'm so scared. I just wish you could reply to me. Just anything. Just to let me know that somehow, somewhere you're not what everybody says you are. You can't be. I refuse to believe it as I have done for the past three months. That's right Blaine, I haven't had a reply in three months, and I'm still writing to you. Because I can't find any reasons not to, even if other people can. _

_ I read through your last letter to me last night. I read it after I came home. I just needed to read it again. Just to imagine that it was you reading it to me. I just needed to see your words to make me feel slightly closer to you. Do you remember? You were telling me about the other soldiers and how they teased you about the gifts I sent. You were saying how close you all were and you felt like you made some life-long friends. You made me so happy with that letter of how well you were doing and how nice the others are. But it was the last paragraph that I wanted to read the most. _

_ 'I'm going to fight for you, Kurt. With every ounce of my body. I'm going to strife forward to get back to you. I love you, so, so much. I promise. One day I'm coming home. Besides, I owe you.'_

_Sweetheart, I hope you're right. I hope one day you'll come home and never leave again. I know this wasn't your choice, not really. But I need to know. What do you owe me for? I look back at those words everyday and I still can't figure out what you can possibly owe me for. If anything, I'm more in debt of you. And if you were to come home then I don't think I'll ever get out of debt. I wish your words would be true. Please._

_I know this is a longer letter but...I had to tell you everything, as I have done for a long time. But I realise that things must come to an end. I'm hoping that it's not the same for all things. _

_I love you, _

_ forever and always,_

_ Kurt xxx_

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed the little section from a previous letter from Blaine! I will try to fit as many of those in as possible!**

**As always, thank you for reading and reviews are wonderful! (If you suggest an idea for a letter then I'll consider adding it in :P)**

**CupsOfKlaine~xx**


	5. Letter 5

**A/N: So how did you all feel about yesterday's letter? I'm going to try and explain more of what has happened to Blaine soon but I really don't want to rush this story. Again, thank you to everyone who has followed and reviewed, you can all have hugs! **

**Happy Reading! :D**

* * *

_Monday 5th November 2012_

_Dearest Blaine,_

_ here we are again. I'm sat at my desk and if I'm being honest, I'm lost for words. Rachel insisted staying in with me tonight, but I'd rather be left alone. Even now she's staring at me whilst I write, as if I'm some sort of mental patient. She's becoming more and more concerned for me as the days goes by. Well, so is everyone. I can feel it, you know. Everyone's judging eyes, staring at me like I'm going mad. I've noticed, but I pretend not to. Whenever I catch them staring they turn away, as if I'd just been imagining it. But I've come to realise that maybe they're right. Maybe I am going mad. But it's not like I'm going to recover anytime soon, is it? Not that I really want to..._

_Can I tell you a secret? I had a dream the other night, about us, and we were back in the Warblers. I miss that, so much. I was starting to think that I had made it all up in my head, you, The Warblers and especially the 'Gap Attack'. So I needed a daily reminder (aside from these letters). I didn't really think about it until I did it. And you're not going to believe it._

_ I got a Canary. _

_And yes, before you ask, his name is Pavarotti. I couldn't have named him anything else. I have to say, he's beautiful. No matter what Rachel says. She was all for me getting a pet but when I came home with him she'd told me to take him back. I can understand why but judging by the fact that he's singing in his cage next to me, you can see who won that fight. _

_ I've done it again haven't I? I've started telling my feelings to you and then completely changed the subject. I seem to be doing that a lot lately. I just haven't been able to tell anyone how I feel for a long time. The only time I ever let it out is in these letters, and they're probably the most painful way to do it. It's as if I'm writing these letters as if I'm going to one day get a reply. _

_I think that I've just admitted that I'm not getting a reply..._

_ Oh god. What am I doing? Of course you're okay! Of course you're going to reply! And of course, you're not dead! You can't be! I don't believe it! No matter what that letter said! Because that isn't what it said, is it? It didn't say you were shot or murdered or that you committed suicide. It said you were _lost._ And lost does _not _mean that you won't reply. It means that you're having trouble finding me._

_ It means that there's still hope. As there has been for three months..._

_I need to stop now. Somehow, Blaine, I've made myself cry again. And I need to stop before Rachel threatens to call my dad again. _

_ Just remember, Blaine. I love you until the ends of the Earth. And I will find you and I will see you again. I won't ever give up. Somehow, I'm going to find you._

_I love you,_

_ Forever and always,_

_ Kurt xxx_

* * *

**Yes, this is a little heavy to end on but it will help the story, I promise. I'm always happy to get reviews and suggestions!**

**Thank you for reading!**

**CupsOfKlaine~xx**


	6. Letter 6

__**A/N: I'm sorry that this one is late! I had an exam yesterday so I never got chance to spell-check and post it. Whoops. This is the one for the 6th of November, but don't worry, you'll get the 7th of November one in a little while after double checking it. (After many mistakes in my other fanfictions I've decided to take extra care with this one haha)**

**Happy Reading! :D**

* * *

_Tuesday 6th November 2012_

_Dearest Blaine,_

_ I got a letter today. It was really strange, and you're not going to believe it. I was quite shocked to find it in my mail this morning, and when I opened it, I was overcome with every emotion I've ever felt._

_It was from Colin. You know who he is. One of the soldiers you fought alongside with. Well, he wrote to me. He said how he was ordered to see what each letter addressed to you said (In fact he's probably reading this one now too). Hi Colin._

_ His writing moved me to tears. He told me about jokes you made and songs you'd sing before you went to sleep. He said how brave you were and how much of an honour it is to have ever been considered s a friend to you. There was one part, though, that really reduced me to tears. _

_'Kurt. I admire you for writing these letters still. I should have written back to you months ago but I thought interfering would only dishearten you. You have every right to write to Blaine. He's a wonderful man and a very, very brave soldier. I read the letters where speak about finding Blaine again and you've inspired me to help you. I was wrong to give now, after reading these letters, I'm going to help you. But that's not just me, that's as many people who I can recruit. That's right Kurt. Your wonderful letters have encouraged a group of soldiers to look for your beloved fiancé. _

_ I promise to do my very best to find him and bring him back to you. You have my word and everybody else's. Don't give up. One day, Blaine will see these letters, and he will be _so _thankful to you. _

_ Sincerely, Colin.'_

_Look Blaine. They're looking for you. I'm not alone; you have a group of people who love you looking for you. After the letter there are so many signatures and messages from soldiers who have also refused to give up. _

_ I never thought I would say this, but these letters are actually going to save you._

_I've already told Rachel and to say the least, she's shocked. Even my dad and Carole can't believe it! _

_My dream of finding you is slowly turning into a reality._

_I love you,_

_ Forever and always,_

_ Kurt xxx_

* * *

**Okay, so this one is a little short and much happier that 'yesterday's'. I'm hoping this moves the story along a little bit without rushing it.**

**I'm happy to get suggestions and I always love reviews! Thank you!**

**CupsOfKlaine~xx**

**(Also! CONGRATULATIONS BARACK OBAMA!)**


	7. Letter 7

__**A/N: Okay! So I'm finally back on track! (woohoo!) I hope you like this one, I feel as if I owe you more explanation for this story, so here it is! **

**Happy Reading! :D**

* * *

_Wednesday 7th November 2012_

_Dearest Blaine,_

_ I don't know whether you've heard or not. But I have to write it to you anyway. Barack Obama won! Do you know what this means? _

_WE CAN FINALLY GET MARRIED!_

_ I know that we've been engaged for only a short time, but I honestly can't wait for you to come home and spending the rest of my life with you. (I'm hoping that didn't sound to forward). Either way, I've been so upbeat since that letter from Colin. Rachel has tried to calm me down but how can I? She says that, although the letter Colin wrote was nice, it doesn't confirm anything; it just means more people are aware that I'm looking for him. I suppose that she's right but the fact that more people are on the look out just increases the chance of finding you. And that slight increase is all I need to get through the weeks._

_Although..._

_Somehow, even through all the recent laughter and smiles, I'm still heartbroken from the night you told me. I can remember it so clearly. I wish I didn't, but I do._

_ I remember you taking me out to my favourite restaurant and holding me close as we walked home through the park, as if I was never going to see you again. When we finally did get home, the memory of it blurs a little._

_I remember being angry and terrified and so, so upset. I can still remember the hours of sobbing together that night. The way you clung to me, rocking me back a forth, singing me lullabies and whispering comforting words to me. I don't think I can ever forgive and forget._

_ I don't blame you. _

_I've never blamed you. I have no right to. It has never been your fault. It was always your father. Always. And even now, where is he? He's certainly not compassionate enough to respect your decisions. Or in that case, making them for you._

_ I know that you always wanted to be accepted, but I never quite understood why you felt so forced into going into the army because of him. I suppose I never will understand. You're so brave for dealing with this. I know you said it was your choice to go, but sometimes I just think...nevermind. It's in the past now, what we need to do now is look forward. We have to. _

_I love you,_

_ Forever and always,_

_ Kurt xxx_

* * *

__**I hope you liked the little insight to the story. To answer some questions:**

**Yes, Blaine is/was in the army.**

**He has not been announced as dead. He is missing and nobody knows what has happened to him, although many people have lost hope.**

**I'm not entirely sure how long this story will go on for but it will definitely make it to Christmas/New Year. **

**I haven't decided whether to ignore the season 4 plot of Finn shooting himself and leaving the army yet. I like the idea of him being in the army too, so we'll see.**

**Thank you to everyone who has asked questions and reviewed! I'm willing to take suggestions! Thank you!**

**CupsOfKlaine~xx **


	8. Letter 8

**A/N: I know, I know. A week of no letters. But I promise, it's worth it. Besides, I made this chapter a long one. I'm working on TNTF next! :D**

**Happy Reading! :D**

* * *

_Monday 12th November 2012_

_Dearest Blaine,_

_ something happened. I know I haven't written to you in just under a week, and you don't know how guilty I feel, but something changed my plans. I don't really know how to tell you with upsetting you, but I feel like I owe it to you._

_I was attacked._

_ I'm okay! I promise. I wasn't majorly injured, just a few scrapes here and there. I should really explain..._

_Rachel told me about the old members of the glee club meeting back up in Lima, and obviously, we had to go. So that night we packed up our things and just got up and left (I was planning to write my letter when I got off the plane but we just seemed too rushed). When we were finally settled in, Rachel and I were on our way to Breadstix. And that's when it happened. Three homophobic Neanderthals came out of nowhere and slammed me against the wall outside of the restaurant. All I could hear was Rachel squealing in the background. They were punching me and beating me and oh god! Blaine I'm so embarrassed! Thank goodness Puck and Sam showed up when they did, otherwise it would have been a lot worse. _

_ It's terrifying. Just knowing that coming home is also bringing me back to hatred and judgement. It's been a long while since I've ever felt like this, and do you know what got me through it? You._

_It's always been you. _

_ It was you the first time, the one that had told me 'Courage'. You made me stronger than I ever was, and even now, you're motivating me and giving me strength and you're thousands of miles away. After the attack, though I was mortified, I felt proud at how far I've come. How far _we've _come. _

_After the harassment in school I thought that it was all over and that I could walk free. But that isn't true at all is it? I can walk as free as I want, but only if I duck my head away from certain people or expect to be 'put back into my place'. New York has taught me to be myself and that I have nothing to be ashamed of...but Lima has just reminded me that I can be openly gay, but I have to accept the consequences. Those boys who attacked me were no older than seniors at high school. I guess I didn't make as much of an impact as I had hoped at that blasted school. It's all just bullshit! It's not just McKinley is it? It was also your old school and David's school as well! In fact, I'm willing to bet that it's the whole of god-damned Lima! If people here would take the time to dislodge their heads from their asses for long enough then they would see that we are human beings!_

_Sorry. _

_I shouldn't be ranting like this. Anyway. After Mercedes insisted that I go to the hospital to make sure that I was okay, things just became a blur. Actually, I don't remember going home. I just remember waking up in my old bed and explaining what had happened to my dad. Obviously, being how he is, he tracked down the boys and reported them to the police, of course after putting a word or two of his own in there. Sadly, my family and friends were determined not to let me near any pens and paper. I can't see why they just wouldn't let me write to the man I love. Now I'm back in New York, I've managed to convince Rachel to go out with Brody tonight so I have some time alone._

_ On the bright side, Carole told me some news! I don't know how long you were planning on keeping this a secret (or perhaps you don't know yet). Finn was finally able to use a phone from your base and he's allowed to come home for Christmas! _

_You know what that means right?_

_You get to come home too! I'm presuming that, anyway. Since you and Finn are part of the same squadron, I'm guessing that you get the same holidays. As excited as I am to see Finn, I'm even more so for you! _

_ I know I haven't letter back, but that doesn't mean that you haven't found another base. Perhaps you're trying to surprise me. Although, if this is just a joke, I don't appreciate it. At all. _

_Gosh, I just can't wait to see your face. To take in your scent and hold you close. I can't wait to kiss your lips and hold your hand. I want to take you to all the amazing places in New York. I want to see your eyes light up when you unwrap your gifts. I need to hear your laugh and see your big goofy grin. I need to take you dancing, and for walks in the snow and sing our flirty duets like we always used to. I want...I need..._

_ Blaine. I need you. _

_I think that the thought of you being home for Christmas is going to be enough to get me through these cold months. I think that it's going to bring back every single memory I've ever had of you and I don't think I'll be able to let you go after this. I can't think of a reason why I'd ever want to. _

_ I was thinking. After you come home, perhaps you could stay? I mean...I don't want you to leave and I know you don't want to either. But it's your choice! But. I don't know if I can do this every time you're away. Wow. 'Every time'. I can't believe I'm referring to you being gone more than once. This is the only time you've been away. It's just that it's been so long. I suppose that any other trip would be this long away from home. However, this isn't any other trip is it? This is the Army. _

_I feel like I know far too much about the Army. Especially with you out there and Finn there too. In fact, I'm sure you two are teamed up! Finn hasn't replied in a while either! Although...I don't think he's as appreciative of daily letters as you are. _

_ I've said it a thousand times and I'll say it again. I wish you hadn't left. I keep reading through letters that you sent to me. This has to be my favourite._

_"Tuesday 10th January 2012_

_My Dearest Kurt,_

_ where to begin. Things are pretty strict here. And, of course, there are one or two homophobes, but thankfully the corporals don't treat me any differently. The food is 'okay'. And no, none of the other soldiers have as much fashionista flare as you do, especially Finn, but you already know that. Anyway, enough of my whining._

_Has you boss considered any of your designs yet or are you still making coffee? Not that there's anything wrong with making coffee! Of course not! You make lovely coffee! Your coffee is the tastiest coffee in America! And England! And Australia! And the world! But I can't judge because I haven't tried their coffee...but your's will be better anyway! You're like a coffee god! Everyone should bow down to you and..._

_That was dumb. Oh god. Ignore me. Please..._

_ This is why I need you. You know exactly when to stop me rambling on. You're the only person in the world who actually realises how goofy I am. I think that's a good thing._

_Wow. I can't belive how much I miss you already. I've only been here a week and I'm already a mess. _

_Look, Kurt. I know that you're upset that I left. I hate myself so much for leaving you by yourself. I promised you so many things and I hate not being there with you. But I'm going to promise you another thing. I promise that I'll come home. This isn't permanent. You know the situation with my dad. Perhaps after he's noticed how much I'm willing to do, he might meet me half way and start to accept me. I'm so sorry. This was in no way your fault. But even before I met you, my mind was made up. I should have told you sooner. I wish I had. But there's nothing I can do now. I'm here. _

_ But that doesn't mean that I don't miss you with every fibre of my being. I'm forcing myself to resist running away and catching the first plane out of here. But that's impossible. _

_Honey. I swear to you, that in a few months I'll be home in your arms. And I'm never going to leave again. But until then, I'll write to you, as often as I can._

_I love you. So, so much._

_ Loads of love from Blaine._

_P.s. If you ever need something to cheer you up, there is still our Prom picture in the back of our scrapbook. I know how much you love that photo, so I decided to let you keep it. And yes, I also left it to remind you of how cool I looked riding that dinosaur."_

_ That was the first letter you sent me. It reduces me to tears every time. _

_We were so naive. _

_I have to go; Pavarotti needs feeding. _

_I'm looking forward to Christmas, and even more so, I'm looking forward to seeing you...hopefully..._

_I love you._

_ Forever and Always,_

_ Kurt xxx_

* * *

**Thank you to everyone who has kept up to date! I hope you liked this chapter, especially the snippet of one of Blaine's letters. And yes, there will be a letter tomorrow. This break was just part of the story and it won't a regular thing. (I want to make it within real time so those of you following it day by day get a feel for it)**

**I'm happy to answer any questions, take suggestions and as always, I love reviews!**

**Thank you!**

**CupsOfKlaine~Xx**


	9. Letter 9

**A/N: I'm really behind, so I'm going to give you the passed week's as quickly as possible. I've been up writing and editing in between coursework all night, so hopefully you'll like them! I'm uploading three tonight and hopefully three tomorrow and two the day after? Then I'll be up to date. Again, sorry for the delay and I'll try to get these up as quickly as possible.**

**This one is a little short, but the next one will be longer.**

**Happy Reading! :D**

* * *

_Tuesday 13th November 2012_

_Dearest Blaine,_

_ I haven't received any news today, good or bad. Today has been long and drawn out, as most days are. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like I'm drifting further and further into empty space. Rachel is also looking vague today too, I don't know whether that's with the lack of contact with Finn or that I'm starting to have a bad effect on her. I hope it isn't the latter. _

_I think my dad is worrying about me more now than he has ever done. It might be due to what happened over the weekend but...I don't know. Everyone just seems so brought down. I'm beginning to think that it's my fault. Who am I kidding? Beginning? Ha! It _is _my fault! I've just been rambling about these damn latter for the past few days._

_I don't know how much longer I can last..._

_I don't know what I meant by that._

_I'm sorry Blaine, but I have no idea what to write you at the moment. You already know about my excitement for Christmas, and that seems like the only thing I have to look forward to. I need to cut this short, I just want to sleep. I want to dream about you. I'll write you tomorrow. Hopefully better than today._

_I love you._

_ Forever and Always,_

_ Kurt xxx_

* * *

**Okay, so thank you for reading. Letter 10 is on it's way. **

**As always, I'm always happy to get suggestions and reviews!**

**CupsOfKlaine~Xx**


	10. Letter 10

__**A/N: I'm really proud of this one. Woo! Thank you for the reviews and follows!**

**Happy Reading! :D**

* * *

_Wednesday 14th November 2012_

_Dearest Blaine,_

_ I'm sorry for yesterday. I shouldn't have cut that letter so short , I suppose I've just been stressed. But you helped without even trying._

_I did as you said and I looked at that photo from our prom. You were right, I love that picture! The way you're laughing like a maniac, the kind of laugh you do when I blow raspberries on your stomach. Your hair wild and curly, just like it is in the morning after an...eventful night. I kind of find your closed eyes endearing, as if you were taking in a scent or concentrating on music. You were so adorable! Haha, you still are! _

_ Is my sudden change in mood noticable? I should explain. _

_I GOT ANOTHER LETTER FROM COLIN!_

_I'm actually thrilled! I bet you're squirming to know what he said, right?! Here's my favourite paragraph:_

_"Kurt, you're so brave after what happened, the squad and I give our best on your full recovery. I know I shouldn't pry with these letters, but I need to show someone your love for Blaine. He's a wonderful person and we all pray to find him. So. With that in mind (I hope you don't hate me for this) but I made an announcement in front of our entire squadron. Pretty nerve wrecking to be quite honest. _

_ Anyway. I read a couple of your letters out to the soldiers an, I can't believe I'm going to say this, but they're out looking for him. Right. Now. Kurt Hummel, congratulations. You have inspired hundreds of men to search for one man. You, my friend, are incredible. You reduced grown men to tears with your heart-felt words, and now you're making a difference. With every spare second of our time, we're out looking for our comrade, and now that we have more of us we can search a wider radius. _

_ I also took it upon myself to find your brother. I know that Sgt. Hudson was on our squad so I sent a request out to find where he is. He's been relocated to another base camp, that's why he hasn't been replying. Don't worry, he's perfectly fine. But. This is a good thing._

_You'll be astounded to know that Finn has also presented your letters to his fellow soldiers. And guess what. _

_They're onboard. _

_I'm happy to announce that you have once again inspired a huge group of people search for Blaine. And do you know what? Where ever these men go, they're spreading the word. To other squads, passing soldiers, locals, everyone they come across. We are all backing you up. As long as you continue this, we will never give up. We will find Blaine and we will bring him home."_

_Blaine. I can't believe it. Not only do we have an entire squad looking for you, but two and possibly even more by now! Seeing you by Christmas is becoming more and more likely. And now, everyone around me is beginning to believe it too! Finding you is finally becoming a reality._

_I love you,_

_ Forever and Always, _

_ Kurt xxx_

* * *

**I love happy chapters! I hope you enjoyed this too!**

**I'm always happy to get suggestions and Reviews! Thank you for reading!**

**CupsOfKlaine~Xx**


	11. Letter 11

**A/N: I'm almost back on track. Just a few more and then I won't be completely lost. Hope you enjoy this one!**_  
_

**Also, a quick reminder that I'm English so my spelling will be slightly different to Americans. So if you do see 'mum' or an 's' instead of a 'z' then you know why. Sorryyy.**

**Happy Reading! :D**

* * *

_Thursday 15th November 2012_

_Dearest Blaine,_

_ guess what I dreamt about. _

_Our first time._

_Oh it was wonderful! The smell of rich jasmine and lily scented candles, distant music in the background and the way the light highlighted your beautiful eyes. I'll never forget the way you pressed me close and held me tightly. I can still feel the tingling where you had caressed my neck. We looked like bumbling fools. We took extra precautions everywhere and apologised for stupid things. Remember how you hit your head on the headboard when you attempted to take your socks off? Eventually you left them on. I'm still not sure that you have the hang of that yet, haha. I remember how gently you were and how you calmed my nerves by a single touch of the fingertips. It was so perfect. To be close to you, and whisper sweet nothings to you. Truly my definition on heaven._

_It was such a great dream that I had to..um...(why did I write this in pen? I can't rub that out, can I? Ahem. I keep forgetting that you're not the only one going to read these Blaine...hi Colin...). Nevermind._

_ In other news, Rachel got a part in a broadway musical. It's only an extra but at least she's up there...somewhere. She keeps ranting about how this could be her big break...but now she's complaining about how it's not a big enough part. She's so fickle sometimes. She also resents the fact that I just wrote that. Wow, I really need to invest in some correction fluid._

_Also, you'll be pleased to know that Mercedes got in contact with the New Directions again, and this time, they're coming to New York! It's supposed to be to watch Rachel in the show, but I still feel like I owe it to them to not end up in a fight this time. I'm definitely going shopping with Mercedes, Tina, Quinn and Rachel. I'd invite Santana and Brittany but I think that they're going to the zoo, which I haven't visited myself yet. Perhaps when you come home I can take you there? I know how you love animals, probably more than people. It's cute._

_I have to go to work now but I promise, as always, to write to you tomorrow._

_I love you,_

_ Forever and Always,_

_ Kurt xxx_

* * *

**Kurt seems pretty happy lately, but I'm not too sure where to take it. I'll figure something out. I know exactly what's going to happen but just not the bit in between haha.**

**I'm always happy to get suggestions and reviews (on all of my fics)**

**CupsOfKlaine~Xx**


End file.
